United Statalia of America
by BrokenBloodDrops
Summary: AU of Hetalia where the 50 states of America have personifications, too. A parody of America's history. Follow the lives of America's, also known as Alfred F. Jones, children throughout the years and their... interesting quirks and relationships.
1. Prologue: Meeting of the States

The scent of tea drifted lazily through the house. Virginia glanced up from her work at the smell, a sigh coming from her mouth. She gracefully stood up and walked to the kitchen, where her nice, hot tea had just finished steeping. Just add sugar and milk… "Hm", she hummed gratefully, taking a sip.

And all went downhill from there.

XxXxXx

"Alright! So, everybody knows that deserts are hot during the day and cold at night, right? Of course!"

Oregon nodded timidly in agreement, even if Nevada didn't stop long enough for the others to answer.

"And I mean really hot in the day, like scorching. And freezing cold at night. I mean, have you spent a day and night in a desert? Although I don't see what all the fuss is about. Just wear sunscreen during the day and have a lot of big, fluffy blankets for night!"

Nevada twirled merrily away from the screen in order to face the group sitting at the large table, blue eyes shining.

Virginia's eye twitched as she sat drinking her tea, trying to ignore the words that kept coming from the western state's mouth. Rhode Island, sitting next to her, scoffed.

"What does this have to do with anything?" He asked, a sneer in his tone. "Well, nothing, really. But no one else was saying anything. So, yeah, who wants to go camping in the desert with me and Cali?" California, eyes closed and head tilted back, lazily looked up and waved one hand to the states that turned to her.

"Why would we want to do that?"

Nevada grinned largely, beaming. Virginia wouldn't doubt that she had been waiting for that question.

"Because we're awesome to hang around, that's why!"

California laughed at something Florida whispered in her ear, the latter promoting a glare from the usually easy-going Nevada. The sunny state either didn't care or didn't notice the sudden glare, and continued chatting with a groggy California.

"Says who?" Irritably asked Rhode Island, snapping Nevada out of her one-sided glaring contest.

"Wha?" Dear God, she really looked confused. Had no one questioned this before? Virginia felt a headache coming on. "Who said you where awesome, huh?"

"Why, I did, of course!"

Rhode Island face palmed.

Virginia did, too.

Sitting next to each other, North and South Carolina giggled. Rhode Island turned to glare at them, but the twin girls just stared back, grinning happily at his pain. He felt a shiver crawl up his spine.

Creepy.

Which was what New Jersey thought, too, as he tried to subtly shift away from them. Honestly, why did he sit here instead of next to his closer kin?

New Jersey flinched when he felt his back hit something solid. Something solid that was breathing. Looking up, and up, and up… finally, New Jersey's eyes widened when he saw Texas in all his cowboy glory staring down at him. For a second, New Jersey was sure the Texan would, once again, mistake him for New York. He flinched, closing his eyes and waiting to be hit by the giant of a man.

"You okay, little guy?" Instead of pain, he felt big hands rest on his shoulders and gently turn him around. He peeked his eyes open to see Texas looking worriedly looking at him and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, I'm- I'm fine. Thank you. Uh, are you alright?" Stupid question, of course Texas was all right. But New Jersey was used to people mistaking him for his older brother, New York, and getting all up in his face because of something the other had done. It was rare that someone knew immediately who he was.

New Jersey would be the first to admit he looked uncannily like his older brother, with their similar dark blond hair and light green eyes. Although New York's eyes looked darker due to the mix of violet he inherited from Canada. But New Jersey was slightly shorter than New York, had a smaller build than him, and wore a different style of clothes and regular glasses instead of New York's sunglasses. His hair was also longer than his brothers. So New Jersey was confused as to how the others always mistook him for New York.

"Nat! You okay, man? That Texan didn't hurt ya, did he?" Speaking of New York, he was angrily stomping over to them. New Jersey doubted it was for his sake, though, because the other seemed to either fight him or ignore him like everyone else unless he wanted something. New Jersey thought he was just using this incident as an excuse to fight with Texas, who was his archrival.

"You! Where's your manners, stupid redskin? Apologize to my little bro!"

He was right. Of course he was.

"Why you damn yank, I'll teach you about manners!"

Ah, that was why he didn't sit with them. Right. New Jersey tiredly looked between the two, and then back at the twins, who were now teasing Rhode Island until he turned red in anger and embarrassment. He shivered, but sighed and moved back in his seat.

Better them then him.

"What are you girls laughing at?" Rhode Island demanded. North Carolina, nicknamed Carol, shrugged. South Carolina, also known as Lina, pointed at him and shouted,

"Nothing much!" The twins burst into laughter, running around to dodge a red-faced Rhode Island as he tried to grab them.

"Why you little-" He tripped on someone's outstretched leg, hitting the floor.

"Like, watch where you're going. I'm trying to, like, totally talk here," griped Kansas, rubbing her now slightly sore leg. Rhode Island grumbled out an "I'm sorry," which the valley girl nodded to. "Whateves." She turned back to an amused Colorado.

With Rhode Island distracted, Nevada rounded on Florida, growling.

"Bastard," She began, "You better treat her right or-"

"Or what?" Florida smirked.

"Or I'll skewer you with my arrows, smartass." Florida shivered. He knew she would.

Normally, you would think Florida would be able to overpower Nevada. They were both the same height, or around it, but Florida had a bigger build than hers with more muscle tone. But Nevada, with her broad shoulder and better posture, looked more intimidating from afar. Fellow states thought she was to be a female version of their Dad, able to lift trees and break down doors easily. Florida was strong, too, though. But Nevada had a bow and arrows and great aim.

Sharp arrows.

Oregon watched the fight, sighing. Ever since California and Florida started dating, Nevada hadn't been herself. Luckily, it seems she was back to her chipper, if not slightly crazy, self.

Now ignoring Florida, Nevada turned around just in time to catch site of North Dakota.

"Hey, North~!" She jumped over to him, causing the quite man to pause in wait for her. She grinned as she finally got to him, clinging to his arm. "What's up?" She asked. North shrugged, the movement jostling Nevada a bit from her spot on his arm. Nevada nodded.

"Yeah. I know what you mean. It's really crazy here, huh?" Subtly, North Dakota glanced down at the state on his arm, brow raised. He saw her waving enthusiastically to someone, and looked back up. South Dakota waved back happily, skipping (literally skipping) up to them. South then proceeded to cling to North's unoccupied arm.

North sighed.

By now, the meeting room was filled with noise from various states; talking, fighting, texting, eating, playing- some were even sleeping, while Oregon tried to work but gave up after California, who was sleeping, fell on his lap and, consequently, his arms.

"That's it!" A loud bad echoed through the suddenly quiet room. Wisconsin, hands planted on the table and growling angrily at the other states, glared around the room. The states that weren't sitting quickly proceeded to.

North Dakota sat in between Nevada and South Dakota, both still clinging to his arms. His position mirrored Utah's, who was trapped between Arizona and Colorado. Next to Colorado, Kansas helped pick Rhode Island up and he sat next to her. New Mexico, currently not talking to Arizona, sat instead next to Maine, who was drinking tea with Vermont and a reluctant New Hampshire. Delaware sat next to Ohio, who sat by Idaho and Iowa, the former of which had been talking to Montana and Washington. The Carolina twins sat not far from Virginia, who never moved from her spot next to Louisiana and Hawaii. Oregon managed to wake California up and she sat up in her seat, next to Florida. Alaska sat on Minnesota's lap, glaring at Nebraska, who shifted more towards Missouri and Oklahoma. Tennessee waved towards Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi, who sat across the table. Arkansas sat in between Mississippi and Kentucky, who sat next to Illinois. Michigan sat next to an empty (?) chair, lazily stretching out before tapping Pennsylvania on the shoulder. Maryland sat stiffly between Wyoming and Massachusetts. West Virginia sat across from Virginia. Wisconsin was standing next to her and Indiana, at the foot of the table.

New York and Texas continued fighting, though, too wrapped up in each other to hear the northern state speak.

"Den mund halten!" Wisconsin yelled and the two warring states reluctantly sat back down, trying to ignore the other and listen.

"Quite! Ve vill continue zis meeting in un orderly fashion! I'll give vou eight minutes maximum to speak, und no von may speak out of turn. Raise your hand if vou vish to speak, please. Now!"

A hand rose.

Wisconsin pointed her finger at its' owner, who occupied the previously thought to be empty seat, nodding. "Wisconsin recognizes her friend Connecticut!"

The blond-red head closed his bright brown eyes, smiling widely. His hand still outstretched, the Italian-influenced state opened his mouth to speak.

"Nutmeg!"

XxXxXx

Authoress note: And that's the beginning. This chapter is based off the first episode/chapter of Hetalia: Axis Powers. I took the liberty of adding an accent for certain states based on which nations influenced them the most. Wisconsin's (otherwise known as 'The Dairy State') official dance is the Polka, symbolizing their Germanic influenced culture/ties- hence, I gave her a German accent. I myself don't speak German, although my mother does and is German herself. And, no, I will not be offended if you wish to correct the accents or other languages located within this story. In fact, I encourage it.

**New York and New Jersey-** Seem familiar? New Jersey is treated almost like Canada in this story. Why? Because everyone always seems to forget or ignore New Jersey in favor of New York. Actually, the two don't get along too well. New York is known to pick on his brother or use him for chores or the like.

**Glasses and sunglasses- **New Jersey's glasses symbolize Ellis Island, the infamous island that holds the Statue of Liberty. 'But wait, doesn't New York own that island?' No.

_The federal government, which had bought the island in 1808, began expanding the island by landfill, to accommodate the immigration station opened in 1892. Landfilling continued until 1934. _

_Nine-tenths of the current area is artificial island that did not exist at the time of the interstate compact. New Jersey contended that the new extensions were part of New Jersey, since they were not part of the original island. The state eventually filed suit to establish its jurisdiction, leading New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani to remark dramatically that his father, an Italian who immigrated through Ellis Island, never intended to go to New Jersey. _

_The dispute eventually reached the Supreme Court of the United States, which ruled in 1998 that New Jersey had jurisdiction over all portions of the island created after the original compact was approved (effectively, more than 80% of the island's present land). This caused several immediate confusions: some buildings, for instance, fell into the territory of both states. New Jersey and New York soon agreed to share jurisdiction to the island. It remains wholly a Federal property, however, and these legal decisions do not result in either state taking any fiscal or physical responsibility for the maintenance, preservation, or improvement of any of the historic properties._

_- Wikipedia_

Sometimes New York will steal the glasses for a bit, but he always gives them back (not always by choice, mind you). New York's sunglasses, on the other hand, represent Long Island (which has actually been trying to become a state itself).

"**Den mund halten!"-** Shut your mouth! Correct me if I'm wrong, please.

**Italy or Connecticut?-** Yes, Connecticut is the state version of the ditzy Italy. I looked it up, and apparently Connecticut is the most Italian of states. So there.

"**Nutmeg!"- **Think "Pasta!". Nutmeg is a spice, though. One of Connecticut's nicknames is 'The Nutmeg State'. I had some debate on what word to use…

_Connecticut is famous for the first hamburger,_

_One day in the year 1900 a man dashed into a small New Haven luncheonette and asked for a quick meal that he could eat on the run. Louis Lassen, the establishment's owner, hurriedly sandwiched a broiled beef patty between two slices of bread and sent the customer on his way, so the story goes, with America's first hamburger._

_That place is Loius Lunch._

_Another famous spice in the Nutmeg. That's why we are the Nutmeg state._

_Mystic Pizza became famous for the movie starring Julia Roberts._

_We are famous for a lot of the great seafood restaurants along the shoreline._

_- WikiAnswers_

Sorry for the long note. I do not own Hetalia nor do I make any profit from this fanfiction. Please Review.

Yours Truly,

Broken


	2. Chapter 1: It All Started When

_A long time ago, America, as a continent, was whole. When people from another land discovered this New World, however, it was not whole anymore. From these people America, Mexico, and Canada were born. America was taken in by the British Empire, and Canada by France. Spain took Mexico. America lived with the British Empire for many happy years, until the Empire tried to repress the colonist with soldiers and taxes. And so came the American Revolution._

_And so America left England._

**It was the (American) civil war.**

"I can't believe hov laz security iz around here. Vou! Come vith me!"

The red-blonde man, who the young Germanic looking woman pointed to, yelped and hurried to stand by her.

"Who are vou?" The long blond haired girl demanded. The boy shivered.

"Ah…."

"Vell?"

"AH! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't shot, I have a relative whose Germanic!" He pleaded, waving his arms in front of him rapidly. He was treated with a blank look.

**The Northern States where having a meeting to discus battle against the South.**

_Mein Gott…_

"Please, please, don't shot! I'm just little ol' Connecticut. I wouldn't hurt a fly! I couldn't hurt a fly! Please, scary lady, don't shot."

_Scary… lady…?_

Wisconsin felt her eye twitch.

"I'm not going to shot vou."

Connecticut stopped.

"You're… you're not?"

"Nein."

"Oh…"

**It was there Wisconsin met Connecticut.**

Connecticut. Wisconsin mused on the man (?) in front of her. He was tall, certainly, but not as tall as her. Red-blonde hair, light brown eyes, skinny and lanky with long arms and legs. He looked good, came to her mind reluctantly, in the very nice looking suit of his and shinny shoes. Not as practical as her uniform, which she wore now, but it somehow… fit him.

It was quite. For all of three seconds.

"You know, you look really pretty (even if you're still scary), miss. What's your name?"

Pretty? Wisconsin felt a blush spread on her pale cheeks. Wait...

"Scary… lady…?"

"Eh? Eh? Ah! I'm sorry, please don't shot me!"

Wisconsin could only manage to sigh.

"… Wisconsin." Now he looked confused. "My name… is Wisconsin."

"Ah! I've heard about you! Hey, hey, you're that Germanic relative I was talking about! Or, well, one of them. I guess I have a lot, now that I think about it. Huh…"

Connecticut was rambling, but he couldn't help it. Not only was this woman really pretty, what with her long, slicked back blonde hair and bright blue eyes that pierced through him and stared him down at the same time, but she was scary, too, with her big size and broad shoulders. She looked like she could (and would) crush him.

He really didn't want to be crushed.

Oh! But she was really pretty looking, too, so maybe if it was her he wouldn't mind a lot. Connecticut couldn't tell much of her body type besides height and the like because of her military uniform (so unflattering!) but she looked like she would have a big chest (actually, she did now that he really looked at her and not her big stature) and nice, wide hips, too.

"Wisconsin…?" Connecticut let her name trail off his lips. He watched her blush again as he said it, a red stain on her usually unblemished white skin, and smiled.

It was then Connecticut decided he _really liked _Wisconsin.

**The Four Corner States**

Utah slowly peaked around the corner of her house. She looked left and right, up and down, feeling like one of those spies from the movies. The thought made her giggle a little, but she quickly quieted down.

"U~tah~!"

Too late.

Utah let out a squeak as she was tackled to the ground. New Mexico, grinning from ear to ear, laughed triumphantly as a huffing Colorado finally caught up to him.

"Too slowly, girly!" He declared, sticking his tongue out at Colorado. She huffed again, but out of annoyance rather than exhaustion.

"Argh, whatever. She will be mine."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!"

"What about Arizona? She is also after Utah."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Utah sweat dropped.

Why where her siblings so weird?

**The Northerns (The Ones Really Up There) Part 1**

It was cold.

The wind blew harsh against everything in its path, cutting through the day with a sort of… vicious precision. Idly, Maine wondered if her tea would stay warm long enough for her to enjoy it.

Hopefully.

She turned at the sound of footsteps approaching. Vermont, icy blond hair tied let down for once, stared up at her. Maine smiled at the other girl, tipping her head towards the door. It was an invitation.

Vermont took it.

Her glove clad hand turned the doorknob and she entered slowly, wiping her feet on the mat placed before the entrance. She walked quietly up the stairs without pause, only stopping when she reached the balcony door. She walked back out. Maine held out a pre-made cup of tea to her, still warm. Vermont sat down before excepting the beverage.

"Lovely weather, is it not?"

Vermont smiled.

**The Northerns (Part 2)**

New York was once again taunting New Jersey. New Hampshire, of to the side, sighed. Sulking, he sat curled up in a corner of the room. It was another meeting gone awry, it seemed. And it seemed that, once again, New Hampshire was forgotten by his close siblings. He sighed again.

A shadow fell over him.

Startled, New Hampshire looked up and nearly screamed when he saw Vermont standing in front of him, staring down at him. Her sea green eyes were staring down at him, hair tamed into a high ponytail and face curiously blank.

God, she was scary.

When she moved, he flinched and closed his eyes. After a moment of pause, and New Hampshire realizing that no, he wasn't going to get hit, he slowly opened his eyes.

Vermonts' hand was held out to him, dainty fingers covered by a white gloves. Dazed, New Hampshire reached up with his own hand and grasped hers. She helped him up and then proceeded to drag him over to another state.

"Hello." Maine nodded to him, and he nodded hesitantly back.

"Hello…"

Maine smiled pleasantly and offered him some tea. He accepted.

"Thank you," he said, sighing in content as the warm tea helped him relax as the chaos of this meeting increased.

"Very nice," he praised, "Warm and sweet and creamy."

"Why thank you," Maine said back, blushing slightly.

"You don't mind me being here….?" He asked, worrying over interrupting him even if he didn't mean to. Maine shook her head, light brown locks shifting from behind her ear.

"Vermont brought you here," she assured him, "so feel free to join us anytime, New Hampshire." And New Hampshire smiled back at her, feeling guilty but still thinking he would never voluntarily join them again because he barely knew them and suddenly felt embarrassed about it.

But every meeting after that, he would always join the two female states. It was inevitable. In the background, Maine laughed pleasantly and New Hampshire followed after her with his own laughter.

Behind her cup of tea, Vermont smiled.

**Visiting Uncle Canada**

Minnesota was a nomad state. She never liked to be tied down to one place, and frequently walked about aimlessly. One day, tired of seeing her get lost over and over again, Michigan asked her a question.

"Why don't you… visit Uncle Canada?" Minnesota had given him a blank look which he took for confusion.

"That way, you can go someplace new without getting totally lost or bored." Minnesota had nodded her head, thinking it to be a good idea. So Michigan gave her the instruction on how to find Uncle Canada.

"Just…. head north from here. If you find someone who looks like America there, you've got him." So Minnesota went north. And she found him.

"Uncle Canada," she greeted him. The Nation gave her a shy smile. "Minnesota. How are you?" She shrugged and he laughed.

"It's hard to believe Alfred raised you, with how quiet you are and everything." He paused.

"Oh! But, I, um, wouldn't change it for world. You're a very nice person, Minnesota."

Now a days, Minnesota visited Canada a lot.

**The Twin States**

North and South Carolina were frequently mistaken for each other.

They liked the same things, had similar thoughts and feeling towards certain subjects, and both talked a practically the same time. They both were pale, with dark blond hair and grey-blue eyes. North Carolina's hair was shorter than her sisters, though. It was hard to find one without the other.

But things happened.

"Eh? North Carolina?" Virginia blinked at the state standing at her doorway. She ushered the other in and closed her front door. For a moment, Virginia almost asked where South Carolina was, but then saw the look on her little sister's face and sighed.

"Tea?" She asked instead. North Carolina shook her head, the dark aura around her not flattering. Virginia felt awkward.

"… Coffee?" North Carolina nodded. The older state proceeded to grab a cup and pour some coffee, both for herself and her guest. Usually she preferred tea, but she didn't feel like waiting for a drink. She handed North Carolina a cup.

And thus the awkward feeling returned.

Virginia sighed.

It continued like this for some time, quiet and slightly awkward (for both states, if Virginia could tell from her sister's face). Soon the door burst open, though, disturbing the peace.

"East!" Oh, great, _him. _Virginia thought, twitching.

"Yes, West?"

"Do you have any coffee?" She twitched again. "You can all the way here to ask if I had coffee? Stupid git, of _course _I have coffee! What do you take me for, England?"

West Virginia laughed. "With the way you talk? Yeah, kinda."

Dear Lord, please _kill him now._

"So can I have some?"

"Will you go away?"

"Nope." She sighed, waving her hand towards the pot.

"Go ahead." He cheered and Virginia rolled her eyes. She glanced at North Carolina, only to see her staring back with a raised brow. A flush started on her cheeks. Must West be so insufferable (especially when she had guests)?

A crash.

"Not my fault!"

North Carolina shot her a sympathetic glance, and Virginia felt her blush spread.

Head, meet desk. Desk, head.

West Virginia and North Carolina watched, both nursing a cup of coffee, as Virginia banged her head on the table and stayed slumped over.

"Hey, sis, you alive?…."

"Mmmoh."

"I'll take that as a 'yes', then."

Finally, after several more minutes and several more head desks, things were calm again.

_Bang!_

Virginia groaned, and the two other states sniggered at her distress.

"Why do I even bother locking the door?" She lamented, looking at her front door from her hunched over position in the living room. She got up to answer it.

South Dakota and South Carolina waved to her as she opened the door. Virginia raised a brow.

"What…?" South Dakota smiled sheepishly, a floren Carolinian clinging to her hand.

"North was getting annoyed. She won't let go." Was all he said, and Virginia gestured to her living room. South Dakota gratefully walked in, South Carolina tagging behind. Virginia walked slowly behind them.

All was silent.

"North!" South Carolina wailed, seeing her twin sister. She let go of South Dakota's hand and ran forward, hugging her sister. "Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…"

Nobody spoke. A beat passed.

"S'okay." North Carolina finally hugged back, and the twins smiled at each other with wet eyes.

"So…" West Virginia once again broke the moment, "What happened?" Virginia shrugged, as did South Dakota. West turned to look at the twin sisters', a confused look plastered on his face.

"She wouldn't let me have any Pepsi."

The others sweat dropped as their fellow twin states walked out the door, hands intwined.

XxXxXx

Author(ess) note: Hm, not as well written as I would have liked for it to be, but I had to change some things around so it was more vague for future chapters. Um, the writing format I'm using is, what I call, comic style. Basically, it's like describing what the manga version of this would be like. Maybe one day I'll be able to make it into a comic (with help from my friends) and post it on deviantArt or something for others to see. Anyways…

**It was the (American) civil war.- **Vague line is vague, as is the next bold line after this up there. This is mostly 'cause I was lazily and couldn't think of/look up another position in which Connecticut and Wisconsin would meet. .

**"U~tah~!"- **Yeah, I went there. It's a love square of sorts. Arizona (who's part I could not work into, darn it!), New Mexico, and Colorado fight over Utah. Why Utah? … Er, well, no reason. Mostly because I thought pitching Arizona and New Mexico against each other would be funny (NM doesn't like Arizona's new immigrant laws…), so it was either Colorado or Utah. I read another fic where Colorado was fought over and was like, let's give Utah some love, hm?

**Vermont- **Okay, she sounds really creepy. I noticed that after I finished typing her part. Don't get the wrong idea, though. Vermont is not creepy, she's just quite and doesn't smile a lot, hence the focus on her smiling with Maine and New Hampshire. She is not scheming or anything, even if it sounds like it. Seriously. That's bad writing(wording?) on my part. She's like Belarus in appearance, only with sea green eyes and more blondish hair. But she's actually really nice and determined to help others, despite her sometimes uncaring attitude/blank face.

**Minnesota- **Short entry for her, I know. Mostly I just wanted to establish that she's close to Canada, and that she doesn't stay home a lot. More on her later, I promise.

**The Twin States- **I couldn't get North Dakota in there. T.T Sad face. That one was the hardest for me to right, as it kept looking awkward to me. Oh well, I tried. Er, and West Virginia and Virginia… originally, I never thought them to be twins but, yes, they are in real life (not as in people, as in states). Weird, I know. Also, my friend, Tobi, pointed out to me (and I swear, I did not notice this) that the way WV and Virginia act are similar to Germany and Prussia, and that's funny because the geography's not the same (West= Germany, but WV acts more like Prussia, who is East).

**"She wouldn't let me have any Pepsi."- **Pepsi originated in North Carolina. Seriously, look it up. I know, stupid thing to fight over. But they are Americans, remember? We like our soda (pop, coke, whatever…)

I apologies, once again, for the long note. I do not own Hetalia. Please Review.

Yours Truly,

_Broken_


End file.
